Resident Evil 4 Remake Is A Biohazardously Terrifying Masterpiece

9 hours in, Resident Evil 4 Remake is absolutely terrifying and action-packed... everything we wanted it to be, and more.

Every once in awhile, a video game comes along that truly shakes everything we thought we knew about video games to its core.

When it happens, it isn't one in a hundred, not one in a thousand, and maybe not even one in one hundred thousand. It's really one of a kind.

Grand Theft Auto III came along in 2001 and changed everything we thought we knew about gaming. It opened our eyes to what a video game experience actually could be - if a gaming company spent enough time, energy, and money on developing it. Then, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City came along two years later, and taught us the video games could be something even more than that... they could be art.

And that same year, Rockstar Games was able to hit a second grand slam with Manhunt, which turned survival horror completely on its head. We never knew before Manhunt just how terrifying it could be to have nothing but a baseball bat and some shadowy hallways to hide from a bunch of murderous psychopaths in.

Skipping ahead a little bit to 2017 - Capcom released Resident Evil 7: Biohazard, and it scared the living hell out of us. Somehow, Capcom was able to develop their own gaming engine and then deliver what is arguably the single-scariest video game ever made. The memory of looking down the stairs at the basement door of the Baker house is still enough to give us nightmares when we sleep.

And let history reflect that on Friday, March 24, 2023, Capcom may have accomplished something even better. Earlier today, Resident Evil 4 Remake was finally released to much anticipation, and Capcom delivered in spades.

Just halfway through, you're convinced that this is one of the best-paced games ever created, with gameplay that never lets you come down off the tips of your toes, and a storyline that paces similar to a retro horror movie of the golden age.

Just minutes into the first chapter of the game, you're frantically running around a derelict town square in 2004 Spain, trying not to get murdered by a bunch of... uh... what the hell are these things? They're humans, but they're acting like zombies. You kill one to save yourself from a far more violent death than you could ever deal to one of them in good conscience, and then the corpse at your feet disintegrates into a boiling puddle of black oil. What the hell happened here? is the haunting, yet familiar question all Resident Evil fans will be asking themselves as they progress through the game.

Your weapons cache consists of nothing but good, violent fun. The shotgun in this game is absolutely bitchin', and with a well-placed shell at your enemy's temple, you're almost always guaranteed a clean, violent decapitation. So satisfying!

And then there's your new totally-awesome crossbow, with which you can even attach explosive mines to the bolt ammunition, effectively turning it into a grenade launcher (yes, with a well-placed shot, you can shoot the mines right onto your enemies, and watch them explode into a bloody mess).

The sub-machine gun you can purchase from the "merchant" is a badass piece of machinery, which is extremely powerful and has a very rapid rate of fire - which makes taking on tougher enemies exhilarating and fun.

I should note also, that this game looks positively magnificent. The graphics in this game are stunning and have photo-realistic maps to explore. The way the characters move onscreen is incredibly life-like. My only complaint here is that the RE Engine still seems to suffer from the same graphics-clipping at long distances like it did in RE2 Remake and RE3 Remake.

Chaperoning around the cute blonde, the president's daughter Ashley Graham, is actually not-at-all a pain in the ass, which many fans were initially afraid of. Capcom did a great job of making the order mechanic to control her user-friendly, while simultaneously immersing her character into the levels' difficulty in a realistic, but not frustrating way. Her character genuinely adds a touch of extra-fun to the game, and the dynamic between her and the main protagonist, the famed Leon S. Kennedy, makes the game's storyline all the more engaging.

And no horror game would be complete without a killer soundtrack (no pun intended) that adds a touch of ambience to the experiential suspense. The music always seems to start playing at the perfect moment - when you're approaching a potentially dangerous and scary situation, was helps build on your sense of fear in a controlled fashion. When it comes time to save your game at the typewriter, you'll hear a soothing instrumental which is calming and gives you some sense of safety, while maintaining your feeling of hopelessness and anxiety about the dangers that lay ahead.

One of the most terrifying moments you'll experience is being chased around by a chainsaw-wielding psychopath (with a strikingly similar appearance to Leatherface) who wants nothing more than to carve the guts right out of your body, in a nod to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre films.

And in true Resident Evil fashion, there are tons of puzzles to solve, items to find, and areas to explore that will keep your busy for hours.

Props to Capcom for the great improvements to their boss-fights too, which never get frustrating or cheesy, and are fun from beginning to end. We've come a long way with RE's boss-fight mechanics since we first fought the heavily-mutated Jack Baker in his barn after rescuing Mia and Zoe in RE7: Biohazard. 

Resident Evil 4 Remake was well worth the wait. Hopefully, Capcom will now recognize how much their fans appreciate, and even prefer, when they take the time necessary to make a game correctly. This is especially true for remakes. The remakes are for the fans. The fans don't want you to cut corners. As much fun as RE3 Remake was, it's no secret that the fans were left disappointed. As I play RE4 Remake, I can't help but wonder what RE3 Remake could have been, had Capcom did what they were supposed to do and made a real remake of the original game, and not the one they did, which the fans felt they'd cut corners on (to say the least), simply to meet some arbitrary deadline, or whatever the reason was.

All that said, I think it's quite clear - even just halfway through RE4 Remake, I can confidently say we have a masterpiece on our hands here, gentlemans! Big congrats to Capcom for creating something truly amazing, done for the fans. And Capcom, don't ever again hesitate to give yourself the ample time needed to truly scare our pants off. The fans really don't mind waiting for something special - something that will truly blow their minds.