'Fast X' Is A Brainless, Testosterone-Fueled Good Time

Turn your brains off for a couple hours and have a good time. Welcome back to the '00s, baby.

There's nothing like turning off your brain for a couple hours, kicking back in a cool, dark movie theater and enjoying a good '00s-style, brainless action film.

And that's what Fast X is. Brainless, action-packed, testosterone-fueled good fun. This movie is everything we've missed about the '00s. Violence and explosions, fast cars, cool music, and beautiful, sexy women.

Now, compliments of Universal Pictures, that's exactly what you'll get. Sometimes, there are just timeless features of a given medium of media that guarantees a good time. Why change the formula? If you work in Hollywood, sometimes it's best to just give the people what they want, sit back, and watch the money roll in. Do you really need a particularly good story here? No ya don't. You know what you're getting yourself into when you see another Fast & Furious movie, and there won't be anything unexpected.

There are so many beautiful, sexy women in this movie, and it's so satisfying. It's great to just be able to kick back and see beautiful bodies and faces all over the place, without being labeled a "disgusting sexist" by some blue-haired fat woman whom nobody wants around. And Michelle Rodriguez still looks like a million bucks in my opinion, despite being in her mid-40s. I love her tan hispanic skin. And she still has a really sexy body too.

The action sequences in this film will make the hairs on your arm stand up. Lots of explosions, car accidents, and even some great shootouts, all without a care in the world just how many people the hero is violently killing... because your brain is turned off and you already know they're one of the bad guys. Bliss.

Vin Diesel is still a macho badass. He does a great job in this film. And his large, muscular physique just commands your attention whenever he's on the screen. Vin Diesel and his character "Dom" has almost become something that could be described as "legendary" at this point. Diesel's presence on the screen is something that's reminiscent of the golden era of modern cinema, and he's become one of the archetypes of modern action heroes in Hollywood. But the real standout performance in this film was actually from Jason Momoa, who gives a super melodramatic, almost over-the-top performance as a strangely metrosexual sociopath, but does it quite well and his acting in this film almost gives off a sense of bravado, as if he's now well-aware that he's one of the kings of Hollywood. And while we're on the subject, I should give props to Brie Larson too, who also did a good job with her character, even though she didn't get as much screen time as I think she may have deserved. Not only did she pull off her character well in this movie, but she also looks really good. Brie Larson is hott in my opinion; she has a fantastic body, a gorgeous face, and beautiful blonde hair, and I thought that look worked really well for her role here as a sexy secret agent badass. I actually hope I get to see Larson strutting her stuff and looking as sexy as she did this afternoon in more films in the future... just not necessarily... well, you know... **cough, Captain Marvel, cough**

Great hip-hop heavy soundtrack too. Loved the music, especially the ending credits song. Great stuff.

This movie is awesome. It's everything we loved about the cinema in the '00s. No wokeness. No post-modern lessons to be learned. No bullshit. Just action-packed, testosterone-fueled fun. Thank fucking God.